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ESPN has been running an ad in USA Today that bad-mouths drummers and propagates drummer stereotypes. The ad implies that your kids could become drummers rather than doing something worthwhile: Learning to play golf. You can see the actual ad on The Percussive Arts Society's website at http://www.pas.org.
I can't help but laugh at the idea that playing golf is more worthwhile than playing drums. I was so tickled, in fact, that I took a moment to compare the two. For the sake of this article, I am referring specifically to hand drumming.
Golf Versus Drumming
Cost of Play:
Golf = $15-$150 for 18 holes. Other options include cart rentals, caddie fees and bar tabs.
Drumming = Free, no matter how many times you hit it.
Equipment Required:
Golf = 12-14 clubs, 1 bag, lots of balls, divot tools, beer openers, cleats, goofy clothes, goofy golf covers, goofy golf hat (optional), beer coozy, cooler, assorted (usually alcoholic) beverages, ice, sun block, sun glasses and golf glove.
Drumming: 1 drum, 2 hands. (1 hand optional.)
Cost of Equipment:
Golf = $500-15,000 plus ongoing expenses.
Drumming = $0-400. (Don't believe that big 0? Check out street musicians all over the globe. Ever seen Stomp?)
Cost of Clothes
Golf = Very expensive, ugly togs you can't wear anywhere else but which must meet varying and arbitrary club standards-–as must the player's skin color and genitalia.
Drumming = Clothing optional--just ask Matthew McConaughey.
Environmental Impact:
Golf = Very high environmental impact. Pesticides and fertilizers contaminate the air, the ground, streams and groundwater. Huge tracts of forest are denuded to create courses creating run-off problems and reducing animal habitat. Swells of frustrated cursing contribute to noise pollution as well.
Drumming = Minimal environmental impact, confined mostly to noise pollution (and that's usually in the ear of the beholder).
Impact on Animals:
Golf = In addition to deforestation, geese, ducks, beavers, alligators and other animals are routinely killed for visiting/trying to live on golf courses. (You would think a game that glorifies birdies and eagles would treat their namesakes more kindly.) Many animals are poisoned by the pesticides used on turf grasses. Cats and dogs are periodically bludgeoned by golfers, both accidentally and on purpose. (And if you don't believe it, ask my cat, Top-flight, who was found almost beaten to death on a golf course in Cary.) Even humans are injured and killed by other golfers sometimes--again, both accidentally and on purpose.
Drumming = Some drumheads are made from leather but, other than that, I've never heard of any animal or human suffering a drum-related death.
Sociological Impact:
Golf = Competitive, often erupts in angry outbursts.
Drumming = Cooperative, often erupts in rhythmic outbursts.
Availability:
Golf = Golf course required (especially problematic in Japan), daylight required, good weather required, must be played out of doors.
Drumming = You can drum anywhere, anytime--though it's important to be considerate of your neighbors.
Time Requirements:
Golf = 3-4 hours per 18 holes.
Drumming = How long does it take to tap out Pa-dum-pum?
Training Requirements:
Golf = None, if you don't mind sucking. Then again, unless you're Tiger Woods, moderate to extensive training is required.
Drumming = Everyone can drum. (Now Mastering drumming is whole other matter...)
Instruction from a Master:
Golf = $50-500/hour, Group Lessons = $35-$300 for 2 hours.
Drumming = $10-20/hour, Group Lessons = $10-35 for 2 hours.
Tips Required:
Golf = Caddy and Bartender.
Drumming = Finger ...tips. (Pa-dum-pum!)
Commonly Related Injuries:
Golf = Back injuries, ligament strains, medial epicondylitis (or golfer's elbow), knee injuries, hip injuries, sprains, strains, sunburn, heat stroke and injured pride.
Drumming = Bruised hands or fingers.
Less Commonly Related Injuries:
Golf = Lightning strikes, golf cart roll overs, head injuries from golf balls and occasionally clubs and alcohol poisoning.
Drumming = Tendinitis, Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.
Emotional Aspects:
Golf = Commonly reported feelings include: Peace, Frustration and Anger.
Drumming = Commonly reported feelings include: Peace, Creativity, Community.
Motivation:
Golf = Winning and Overcoming Handicaps.
Drumming: Self-Expression, Contributing and Working Together.
Spiritual Aspects:
Golfing = Swearing to God, Invoking Jesus, Calling upon Mary, Mother of Christ and basking in alcoholic "Spirits".
Drumming = Meditation, Chakra Alignment, Out of Body Experiences, Connection with the World Around You.
So, hey! Golf... Drumming... Whatever floats your boat. But, personally, I prefer drumming...and I prefer people who prefer drumming. And when I think about what values I want to pass on to children, well, the ones I choose don't make money for major tv stations but they do make for unique, compassionate, creative, high-quality "individuals". | 
